Have you ever had that friend who never calls? It seems like you’re the one who always does the inviting, the calling, the organizing of a get-together. Once in a blue moon the friend would call you – because he/she needed something. Ugh. Have you ever had that friend? Have you ever been that friend?

It’s exhausting.

When you feel like you carry 100% of the weight of maintaining a relationship. When you feel as though you are taken for granted. When you feel under appreciated. Motivation to continue that friendship wanes. The love for that friend may remain, but it becomes colored with a tinge of discontent, with frustration, with bewilderment. Eventually, those feelings may completely discolor and overwhelm the love. And when that happens, the relationship fails completely.

It dies.

And that failure of friendship may hang with you forever. It is a weight in the back of your mind. An unresolved issue. A hurt pinching at the edges of your heart. Over time, that weight may lesson, the issue gray out in the background, the hurt lessen its sting. But you will forever remember that friend with sadness.

And regret.

In true confession, variations of this scenario have happened to me several times over my lifetime. But the significance of experiencing this pattern was just revealed in my soul this morning. The Holy Spirit has pointed my mind’s eye inward and whispered a disturbing truth to me. As it so often does, it has arrested my attention. And brought me to my knees.

I am that friend.

I am the prodigal son. I am an Old Testament Israelite. Wayward in my allegiance. Impressed by God’s work in my life in one moment, forgetful and dismissive the next. My best friend continually knocks at the door of my heart, calls my name in endless invitation, and welcomes me with open arms and rest for my soul – Every Day!

How do I answer?

The truth is that I am a mess. The responsibilities and schedule of this life are all consuming. Crazy busy. But the bigger truth? My best friend Holds Up The World! Seriously. And I presume to use busyness as an excuse for my inattention. For my inability to take a few moments each morning to greet my friend and share a little coffee and conversation. Until all that busyness wraps itself around me like a boa constrictor, tighter and tighter each day until I can’t breath.

And I gasp out, “Help me!”

Ah yes. I need something. Urgently. I need to breath. I need to see light at the end of the tunnel. I need space and air and rest. I need solace. I need to know that everything is going to be okay. That I will get through this struggle. I need comforting.

So I call my friend.

And he answers. Every Day! He answers with gentleness, forgiveness and acceptance. He answers with grace and love. He greets me with a cup of soup for my soul, a soft blanket over my restlessness and fear, a quiet shifting of the burden from my shoulders to His. Comfort. Solace. Love.

Every Day.

And I remember why we’re friends. And why maintaining this particular friendship is more important than anything else. Everything else. That setting aside time each day for  quiet coffee and conversation with Him is essential. I remember where my focus needs to be pointed. I remember how glorious it is to be a daughter of Christ. And I am thankful. So very grateful that He will never walk away from our friendship out of frustration, bewilderment and hurt. That He is the one constant in this life.

And I surrender all over again.

I surrender to His plan for me. I surrender my days to His divine intervention, exquisite organization and perfect timing. And in response, He shows me the light at the end of the tunnel. He blesses me with a day. A whole day without any schedule restrictions. Space. Air. Rest. It is exactly what I need. And I am refreshed. Renewed and refocused. I needed this so desperately. I need Him.

Every Day.